Cuddy's struggle
by csilover8
Summary: Summary inside, eventual Huddy! Please read. Dark subject in the beginning, but involves a caring House and Huddy moments. It's about them finally healing with the help of each other.
1. Chapter 1

I usually don't write about personal troubles but I thought it may help, letting out how I feel. Some of Cuddy's feelings are the same things that I feel, but some other stuff is just added for the storyline. I'm not anorexic but I do feel emotionally isolated- so don't read if you don't like the subject. Let me know what you think, please read and review? Btw Rachel doesn't exist, sorry guys. My first Dark emotional Fanfic so here goes…

Lisa Cuddy stared at herself in the mirror. She saw all the imperfections and thought to herself what a loser she was. So what she had previously ran a hospital and she was once a great doctor- but that was all in the past. She currently was unemployed, she lived alone in an apartment in New York City and she had never felt so isolated before. She often met up with Wilson, due to Wilson's constant request of making sure that she was coping and to stay in touch really. It had been two months and Cuddy had ignored his frequent calls and had avoided his constant requests of meeting up. She walked into her small kitchen with a very nice view of the city skyline, and she opened her fridge. Empty. She looked down at her now very flat stomach and heard the familiar rumbling that her stomach would often do as she had not eaten properly in days. Curiously she looked down at her skeletal like frame and then back up to her reflection in the window. She was unrecognizable, to herself and to anyone else who could see her.

"What is happening to me?", she asked as she let the tears that had been threatening to fall, to roll down her cheeks until she was now curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor sobbing her heart out.

"Please someone, anyone just help me", she breathed between cries. She was angry and so alone and she didn't know what the hell to do. Recently her strange behaviour had made her so worked up that she had literally made herself ill. She spent two days cooped up just laid in bed because of the pain that she was feeling. It wasn't physical pain, that pain would have been better, it was emotional pain. She felt so upset because she didn't know how to make herself feel better, she was a broken woman and she needed help, desperately. She had no friends, she spent her time just going out to local clubs, and she'd take drugs, bring back total strangers and basically just drink herself into oblivion. At the time it made her feel better, and forgot all her troubles but once she was alone and had nothing but her own thoughts- that was when she hurt deeply inside. For two weeks now she hadn't been eating properly. Meals would be small and picked at, and she could hardly manage to keep anything down. She had long since stopped food shopping, she just picked up her bare essentials, just enough to survive. Walking helped a bit, it gave her a little bit of freedom and she loved it, several minutes of pure freedom when the cool air touched her skin and her legs just took her wherever they wanted. She would find herself sat by the lakes or even walking across the bridges and admiring the thousands of birds that flew throughout the city everyday, she wanted to be like that. To be weightless, free and happy. She couldn't remember the last conversation that she had had. It wasn't in the clubs, she barely spoke in them. In there she was a nobody, a useless stranger to herself and to those around her. She could be whoever she wanted and do whatever the hell she liked. In the clubs she would often get treated like crap, she would let the men walk all over her and treat her like a useless, defenceless woman- because in her mind that is what she was. She felt like she deserved what she got. She deserved the harsh words that would often fly at her and in her mind when she get beaten up and often battered so much that she could hardly move, that that was her comeuppance, the exact punishment that she deserved…

So guys what do you think? I warned you that it would be dark and have some truth in it. Please review- I did warn you lot. I love Cuddy to pieces but I just wanted to try a different style. Please comment if you want another chapter or else I won't bother uploading…


	2. Chapter 2

Due to many requests of Rachel being in the story I have decided to add her in. Plot purpose she is 13 and currently in boarding school; she will hopefully appear in later chapters. This chapter involves House and a blast from the past. Okay so thank you for all the nice reviews- please keep reviewing each chapter and give me feedback, I really appreciate it…

The distant ringing of the phone bought Cuddy back to reality. She picked it up and quietly spoke into the receiver.

"Hello".

"Mom is it okay if I come for a bit this weekend, I haven't seen you in a while and I'm missing you loads." Asked the sweet innocent voice of the teenage Rachel Cuddy.

Cuddy paused for a second and then proceeded with her reply.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful", cuddy eventually replied, feeling mixed emotions about her daughters upcoming stay.

"Thanks mom, cyah then- love you loads". Rachel beamed as she said her goodbyes to her mother.

Cuddy put the phone down. What was she going to tell her? The minute Rachel would see her she'd know something was wrong- she was a smart girl after all and she'd ask constant questions until she eventually found out what was wrong with her mom.

Well there actually was something, something that Cuddy had wanted for so long and now she had it, she didn't know what to do. Recently Cuddy had taken a pregnancy test as she was showing common symptoms of early pregnancy and just out of curiosity Cuddy had picked up a test and had discovered that she was in fact pregnant. She felt so messed up about it, she had wanted this for so long but this wasn't the way she had planned. She was alone, unemployed and carrying a baby that she had no idea of the paternity, She felt like crap. Eating was such a hard task but she knew she had to, if not for her sake- for the innocent unborn child that she was having. She also knew that she had to put on weight drastically so the child had at least a chance to survive. She thought to herself maybe God was giving her something good out of all this but in actual fact she had no idea if this baby was a blessing or a curse.

"Lisa!" came a loud voiced from the other side of the door. The voice seemed so familiar but it couldn't be could it? She hesitantly opened the door instantly wishing that she had checked the peephole.

Was the door was fully open she gasped in shock when House and Stacey were at the door.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked, shocked to see House never mind Stacey.

"I got Stacey to help me track you down; we've been looking through your credit card records and illegal crap like that so I could found you. I called Stacey because I knew she could help." He explained, noticing how different she looked, but how despite having changed a lot she still was as beautiful as ever in his eyes.

"I'm not okay", she revealed, so overjoyed to see familiar faces and also be in House's presence again. She didn't care about what he had done in the past anymore, she just wanted him back, even if it meant just be friends that was good enough for her.

"Look, I'm going to fetch some food because you haven't been buying any" House began. "I'll fetch pizza and then we can talk". He explained, wanting to have some time to comprehend things.

Stacey walked in to the apartment once House had headed to fetch the Pizza and she looked at Lisa sympathetically.

"Stacey, I am so screwed up", she stated. Stacey just sat their in silence deciding how to approach this.

"Lisa, tell me, tell me everything?" she asked, half knowing what Cuddy was about to admit. She wasn't surprised at the way Cuddy was feeling she could tell from the minute she saw her, what had been going on. She was shocked at the things cuddy has admitted to doing when she was at clubs but she stayed composed to try and help her friend.

"Stace, there's one problem", she began, hoping that Stacey would click on so she didn't have to admit the words aloud. Unfortunately Stacey did not therefore Cuddy had to tell her the truth.

"Stacey, I'm pregnant". She breathed, waiting to see her friend's response.

"Oh god, that's a problem right?" she asked not sure how cuddy wanted her to react.

"I don't know, I don't know anything anymore. I'm such a mess", she started to cry.

"You need to talk to someone, someone who can help, maybe you should stay in a place where they can help you for a while", Stacey suggested, not exactly sure how she could help her.

"Look, let me a Greg take you back to Princeton get you checked out and get you the help that you need, I can sort it out with Rachel's school and once you're better we can get her to come there and visit you."

Cuddy just nodded and gave Stacey a huge hug.

"Thank you", Cuddy whispered as she clung to her friend as carried on crying on her shoulder…


	3. Chapter 3

When House eventually returned, he found Cuddy in a tight embrace with Stacey and by her red puffy eyes he could tell she had been crying, a lot.

"House you and Lisa need to talk, I'll sort out the pizza, I'll come back in minute", Stacey explained as she gave a sympathetic look towards Cuddy and a warning glance to House as if to warn him that what was to come wouldn't be particularly pleasant.

….House sat their in shock once she had revealed everything; he couldn't quite understand how he had let her walk away and how she had to put up with all the crap that happened and all the crap that was happening.

He placed a caring hand on her arm in a comforting gesture and just looked deeply into her terrified eyes. He knew she was afraid, afraid of the future, the presence, and afraid of herself. Stacey walked in as if just on cue to lighten the mood as neither House nor Cuddy had any words to say between them. Stacey handed the plates out and opened the box of warm pizza and piled a few pieces on everybody's plate. She thought about talking about the weather but she knew that she needed to approach the subject of Cuddy's struggle because she knew House wouldn't.

"Lisa, how long have you been," she paused deciding what to name it, but then carried on. "Depressed?"

Cuddy looked and House and could tell that he was upset, his eyes were bloodshot as if he was holding the tears as not to show weakness in front of her.

"I don't know, I haven't been myself in a while, I just want to be normal again", she explained, trying to work out exactly when she hit rock bottom.

"I'm so stupid, I was a fantastic Doctor, sophisticated Dean of Medicine, my grades in med school were off the chart and yet look at me, I'm unemployed, pregnant, an addict and I feel like death", she revealed as she tried to find the right words to describe her life in a short sentence.

"Cuddy, you were probably a ticking time bomb, I mean something was bound to release this depression- as a doctor we both know that an episode triggers the depression; it's in our DNA", he explained, reassuring her that she would be her old self and that there was no way she could have stopped it. But she wasn't convinced.

"How dare you", she spat. "How the hell can you possibly have the nerve to look at me and defend yourself- you are so unbelievably selfish. You think maybe your arrogant ways and your immaturity could have caused this- 'cause I sure as hell do", she screamed.

"Cuddy, you should calm down, shouting isn't going to sort anything out", Stacey said, trying to calm her down.

"Lisa, look I'm in no way defending my actions, I was a narcissistic jerk and I just let my addictive side kick in and I was a total ass to you and to everybody who cared about me", he explained. "It is my fault, because I should have been there to protect you, to stop all the hurt that you've had to sustain whilst I was letting my pride be the better of me and I should never have let you go". He let a small smile curl on his lips as he carried on. "Lisa, you being in my life is enough, whether you're my boss, a friend, or my lover- just knowing that you're breathing is the greatest gift".

Both Stacey and Cuddy were shocked by his sudden outburst of affection and Stacey couldn't help but feel a little hurt that she and House never worked, but she was a believer in fate and there was no way of denying that Lisa Cuddy and Gregory House belonged together.

"Lisa, House- I really should go, I have a court appearance this afternoon, it's great to see you guys and Lisa please stay in touch- and once you're better we really should meet up sometime", Stacey explained as she stood up and left House and Cuddy sitting and staring into each others eyes.

"House, I think maybe the best thing for me and the baby and for you would be adoption", she proposed.

"It's a huge thing Lisa, I mean don't you want the baby?" he asked, unsure of how to react to her news.

"I think that it wouldn't be right, I mean I don't want to have to hurt everybody with this baby, I mean there is people out there who really want that, like what I used to be. I think that Rachel was my gift; but as of now I don't think that it feels right", she explained, trying to analyse her thoughts as she said them aloud.

"Look, whatever you want, I'll be there, okay? It's your decision", he smiled, he was so thankful that he had found her, the woman that he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with- and as they say in sickness and in health right, til Death do we part.

"why don't we go for a walk, get some fresh air and we can discuss how to make things the way they used to be, I know we can't change time but we can make up for lost time at least", House suggested, and judging by the smile on Cuddy's she agreed with his suggestion. And the pair wrapped up in their winter wear and walked through the park for hours catching up and discussing possible ways of getting Cuddy and their relationship back to normal…

_Not sure if I really like this chapter but hey ho- you can't always win right? Anyhow please review as I will not upload further chapters if I do not get enough feedback._

_Thanks._

_p.s__Are__you__guys__feeling__the__huddy__love__or__just__reading__a__load__of__crap,__be__honest-__trust__me__I__don__'__t__bite__xxx_


	4. Chapter 4

Once Cuddy and House had finished talking in the park they eventually found themselves curled up on Cuddy's sofa listening to one of Cuddy's CD's- 100 great Love songs and they were currently laid with House positioned so that Cuddy was laid on her side resting on his good leg and they silently laid that way listening to Damian Rice, Cannon ball. When the song had finished it was like the song was singing aloud both their feelings and thoughts and it's as if the song revealed the truth about each other in around three minutes. They both stared at each other and as their eyes met a chemical reaction took place and they both felt the electricity exploding with ecstasy inside their body's as they remained daringly exploring one another's blue shining orbs. Just in that sudden instance House was the first to give in to temptation as he closed the little space between their lips and kissed her, telling her exactly how he felt all in the gesture of that one passionate kiss. They both parted for much needed air and Cuddy contemplated what was to happen now. House sat up, carefully pushing her back slightly as not to aggravate his bad leg.

They carried on their blue on blue staring match, neither one plucking up courage to speak. But eventually silence was broken as Cuddy gave in.

"What do we do now?" she asked, knowing that the same question was on his mind as well as hers.

"As a normal person I'd say we would probably talk, even more than we have done and discuss crap like what does this kiss mean, but as me Gregory House the worlds number one jackass I suggest we save our wasted analysing skills on a kiss and just enjoy each others presence and pretend that me and you are the last two people on earth and drift off to sleep as tomorrow is a new day and we'll face tomorrow in the morning- not now".

She couldn't really argue with that summary of what to do as the majority of what he had just said was pretty much true so she gave him a small nod and smile and lay back on his chest and closed her eyes. He couldn't hide the feeling of what could only be described as happiness at their close proximity, and he couldn't resist breathing in her scent just to convince himself that this was real, she was real and he would never let himself lose her ever again.

..Next morning.

House was first to awake from his peaceful slumber and he opened his eyes and adjusted to the heavenly light that shone down from the gap in the blinds. He squinted to adjust his eyes to the light and made out his new surroundings. Once the feeling of waking up and suffering with a few seconds of oblivion, the events of yesterday came flooding back and made sense to him of why he was in a strange apartment sharing a sofa with the beautiful dark haired woman known as Lisa Cuddy. He smiled down at her and how angelic she looked, he honestly believed that no one could be as perfect as that. Her features looked so delicate as if a very clever artist has sculptured them with purity and dedication to the master piece that was Cuddy.

It was like she sensed him observing her and her eye lids fluttered open just like delicate wings of a one of a kind butterfly, a unique beautiful creation.

"Morning", she groggily greeted as she had just left the land of sleep.

"You want breakfast, I'm the quite the pro when it comes to breakfast", he explained, causing her to giggle at his confidence of making breakfast.

"Well, I don't want to argue with a professional breakfast specialist", she mocked. "So I may accept your kind offer and judge you on how well your breakfast skills are".

He laughed, he loved how witty she was and how she always gave as good as she'd got.

"Well princess Lisa, today I am your servant- and I will do whatever you want and we go wherever you want, that's the only rules of today which I officially pronounce Lisa Day", he explained.

"Okay, but you're my servant which means I'm basically the leader so I think I pronounce it, but because you do what I say I think I'll let you call it that", she smiled, and he was so glad that she was smiling and that she was gradually becoming the old Cuddy, the Cuddy that she was- not that unhappy Cuddy that had lost herself- and he just laughed at her failed attempt of a British accent as she was by the sounds of it trying to talk like the Queen.

"Right then, I will make breakfast, and you will practice that accent, it's pretty bad", he laughed.

She just shot him a glare as to say what's wrong with it but she simply nodded and watched him as the one man she'd ever truly loved limped out into the kitchen and prepared to make her an 'out of this world' breakfast.

"House what was that?" she shouted as she heard a shatter and dreaded to think what he had broke.

"It was just an ugly mug that is so last season", he replied, in his over the top valley girl accent.

"Okay, seriously what is it with accents today, we should try out and me an impressionist duo", she laughed, thinking how adorable his mock Valley accent was.

"It's cute when you speak like that", she shouted, causing him to smile.

"It's cute when you pretend to be British", he stated sarcastically.

"Whatever Greg", she smirked, surprising herself with the intimate use of his first name.

They both were so happy at the current time that they were spending with each other and right now things were going perfect as they seemed to be returning to the people they used to be and their new found friendship/relationship was going great and they didn't want it to end.

"Lisa, I love you", he shouted through to her, she gasped wondering if he had heard him right and then the realisation of what he had said sunken in. she couldn't control herself much longer and ran longingly through to the kitchen and jumped into his arms, and kissed him. She couldn't pretend for much longer, she couldn't deny her true feelings for the man that she was kissing uncontrollably. She needed him, she loved him and right now she had him and that was all that mattered. And for now she would do everything in her power to keep him and she would bare herself to him and in return she hoped that his huge walls of defence would one by one tear down so that she could be let in and this whole thing could actually work for once and not just be a fantasy that neither one could fulfil…


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is inspired by the Lyrics from Beyonce- I was here. Check it out!

It had been three days now and House and Cuddy had spent every day together, enjoying each others company and fixing each other gradually. House was healing, and Cuddy was finding her old self again. Today they had both decided that they had had enough of being cooped up in her apartment and House had offered to drive them both to a surprise location. Of course it hadn't taken long for Cuddy to accept his offer and that's how they ended up driving out of the city heading to an unknown destination to Cuddy.

"House, before you die don't you want to achieve a certain thing?" she asked, thinking about life due to the song that was currently on the radio.

"I want to be a great doctor, I want my name to be known just like Hippocrates," he explained, earning a smile from Cuddy at his goal in life.

"I want to explore the world", she revealed, he snickered at her comment but then realised that she was actually being serious.

"Oh, I just didn't think you were that kind of person", he mocked, but inside he felt the exact same way. He wanted nothing more than to walk the surface of the planet and put his life into comparison to the whole world and to see how insignificant people's problems are when they are compared to the wanders of the planet itself.

"It's a good goal, I kind off feel the same", he explained. "I mean what is greater than being an explorer", he stated, with no sarcasm in his words present at all.

"Wow, I actually believe you because you for once in your life you was not sarcastic", she replied.

"Hey, I do occasionally say things with real meaning", he defended, pretending to be hurt by her comment.

"We still haven't really discussed the baby", she stated, changing the subject knowing that neither one exactly knew what to say about 'it' so she plucked up courage and brought up the topic.

"Lisa, it's your choice. I'm not going to lie I think that it's bad, I think you should go through with adopting but that's my selfish opinion", he replied, trying to be honest without being completely brutal towards her.

"Yes, I should probably start finding couples you know, or even single moms." She explained, wiping the tears from her eyes as the subject of the baby was always emotional for her- even though she was the one who bought it up she couldn't help getting upset about it.

"I think once the baby is adopted, me and you should travel the world", she proposed.

"Now are you being serious or sarcastic?" House asked, thinking that the idea wasn't that bad, in fact in was quite a good plan to be honest.

"I just feel bad; you wanted a kid so bad. I don't want you to feel like you have to get rid of it" he stated, trying to get an honest response about what her intentions were.

"House, I'm not getting rid of it, I'm just giving it to someone who will appreciate it more than I ever could", she smiled, trying to convince herself that that was what she intended, but there was still a little doubt in her mind of what was the best option for her and for the baby.

"Okay, well today it's me and you. No baby talk, just me and you and a deserted beach with a fantastic ocean to bathe in", he smiled, pointing out to the breath taking view of the beach that had no presence on it whatsoever. Cuddy could only describe it as some sort of vortex. Some kind of parallel world that only House knew about, and the thought to her was magical. They pulled up and there was no life or even cars for the matter anyway to be seen.

The sun was beaming down, and a light breeze danced on their exposed skin. She could hear the ocean and feel the light drops of salt water as it evaporated into the atmosphere and occasionally dropped onto them.

"This is amazing", was all she managed to say. To House her smile said it all, she was in total awe of this place.

"I like to walk along here when life gets tough, it makes me realise that problems only have solutions", he explained, as he took her slender hand in his own and guided her down to the pure, untouched sand.

"Look out there, tell me what you see?" he asked, pointing out to the horizon.

"I see the sunset", she replied, insure of what the correct answer was.

"Yes, but also you see the stairway to heaven?" he asked, showing her the clouds that looked just like a stairway leading to heaven and she smiled at his observation.

"There's often so many beautiful things to see, the clouds create a story and I love to read it", he explained, as he knelt down to pick up a stick and he began to write Lisa Cuddy and Greg House was here in the sand in quite big bold letters.

"I didn't know you was a sand writing kind of guy", she giggled, "But I'm not complaining I think it's sweet".

"When I'm here, I forget about everything. And now I get to share the experience of oblivion with you", he smiled.

"House, I love you", she revealed, much to House's appreciation.

"I love you too Cuddles", he replied,

"And one day me and you will be out there, and the world will be our oyster." He exclaimed.

She just smiled, knowing that that wasn't the last time he would be responsible for her smile that day.

"Yes, me and you against the world", Cuddy laughed.

At that moment they really did feel like the last people on earth, and the feeling was great. Nothing else mattered; all that mattered was that they were there together. It felt like time had stopped and they hadn't even noticed because they were too busy fascinated with one another to notice that anything was wrong. Yes, Cuddy and House were finally healing, pain was going and happiness was just on the horizon. Life was good…


	6. Chapter 6

After spending Hours snuggled in each others embrace and dreaming about their future together, House slowly stepped up as not to aggravate his leg as at this current moment in time his leg felt the best it had ever felt and he had a small feeling that that was all down to the beautiful woman next to him. He smiled down at her, blue meeting blue and there were the fireworks again, dancing around them once again sending shivers down each others spine.

"Babe, we should get going, I mean it's getting dark and well, cold", he explained, extending a hand out for her to hold.

"Yes, we should. I've had a really great time", she smiled, not wanting the day to end but knowing that they couldn't exactly stay their all night as the tide was quickly making its way in and surely in a few hours their current spot on the beach would be well underwater.

"About the world, I mean us exploring it. Would Rachel want that, she has friends, a life. I couldn't take all that away from her", Cuddy explained. It was like all of a sudden she began to doubt their plans, as if fate didn't want this after all.

"Lisa, you need to stop thinking so much, just enjoy each day. Don't think about tomorrow- because tomorrow never comes", he explained.

"Tomorrow never comes, because tomorrow is always today", Lisa laughed, remembering that statement that he had stumped a whole room of business men with who could not for the life of them understand the statement.

"Thank you, for today and for everything", she whispered, knowing that if she said the words too loud her voice would break and she would fall apart with raging tears.

House sensed this and kissed her forehead tenderly, he once again smiled at her and it that moment Cuddy knew that House was the one, and so did House.

"I've just realised, how did you manage to not get any calls from the team?" she asked, noticing that he hadn't been paged or rang for the whole day and that was strange for House.

"I told them not to ring as I would return with my princess", he joked, but actually the statement had a lot of truth in it and Cuddy wouldn't put it passed him to actually say that to the board and his team.

"I'm taking you back with me, you're going to meet the new team, and catch up with the old one", he smiled, knowing that secretly even though she wouldn't admit it, Cuddy was dying to see the hospital and catch up with the old gang.

"I don't know", she lied. "I will only be upset because I'm no longer a part of it", she said, even though she and House both knew that she wanted nothing more than to go back.

"Like I said, don't think", he laughed, wrapping her up even tighter as a cool breeze had began to form and Cuddy was slightly shivering by it's icy sting.

"Did I ever tell you that I love you", he smirked, taking in the sight of her beautiful features.

"You have done on many occasions, but I never tire of hearing you say it", she teased.

"And yes, I do love you too", she replied.

And in that moment, House didn't know what had come over him but he felt a sudden urge of pride. Pride that he was with the woman he loved, he was proud that she loved him and he loved her. And he did something that House thought he could never possibly do, he knelt down on one knee and asked her the most famous words in history.

"Will you marry me?" he asked.

She was shocked at first, never in a million years did she think House would ever do something like marriage, she thought that after what he had said about it previously that he was completely against it.

"I know what you're thinking, but I never understand marriage and what it meant- that was however until I fell in love with you and now everything seems much clearer." He explained.

She carried on looking at him with a shocked expression, and at that moment she just wanted to cry tears of joy.

"Yes, yes, yes, and baby hell yh", she screamed with excitement, and House stood up as Cuddy jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him and the pair kissed passionately under the beautiful sunset…


	7. Chapter 7

The next few days, Cuddy stayed with House at his apartment. Whilst House went to work Cuddy had taken up the hobby of painting. She loved to paint, and of course she did her yoga.

When House got home at night, they would lie in each others arms or sometimes they would sit around his beloved piano and sing along to the well down classics that he would play over and over again.

And she loved it, she loved every minute of the time that they spent together, he was her puzzle and she was his.

It wasn't until three days had passed, when House offered to take her to the hospital with him, to see everyone.

She was reluctant at first, but it didn't take long for House to persuade her and that's how she found herself walking into 'her' old hospital, hand in hand with the well known narcissistic Diagnostician.

She stopped and pulled on House's hand as if to signal her discomfort in the situation.

"House I can't..." she began, before running over to a near by bin and emptying the contents of her stomach, which didn't go unnoticed by surrounding doctors, nurses and patients.

It was down to nerves and also down to morning sickness, which Cuddy now knew from experience, that it wasn't the most pleasant thing to have; especially when it struck out of nowhere like that.

House wasn't far behind her, to hold her hair and rub her back in a soothing gesture.

After a few violent heaves, she had finished for now, and began to cry. She was crying because she was hormonal, because she was nervous as hell to even step foot in the hospital, and because she still didn't know if this baby was what she wanted, and every time she was sick it was just a constant reminder of how messed up her life was. Believe it or not House was the best thing that she had right now. Even Rachel was far away, which hurt Cuddy even more as her daughter was not as dependent on her and hardly ever spent time with her- which to Cuddy supplied further evidence of her failure as a mother.

"House, I feel so ill", she sobbed, feeling like utter crap at the minute. She had a feeling that she was coming down with something, and pregnancy didn't help at all.

"We could get you a scan, a check up. Make sure everything's okay?" House suggested.

"No, I mean… House I don't know what I want", she began to sob even more. She was now causing a scene as she could hardly stay on her feet and House quickly led her to a bench to try and calm her down. He should have never forced her to come, he knew that she still wasn't well- but yet being the jerk that he was he had foolishly insisted on taking her somewhere that would obviously upset her, and for that he was mentally kicking himself.

"We can go home if you want, just let's get you some water first", House instructed.

"Just come with me, I promise we'll be straight in and back out as quickly as possible", he reassured.

She nodded, all she wanted was to go back to 'their' apartment and be in their own world, a world where only they mattered. Facing her past at this hospital was just too much for her at the moment; it was too big of a step to take.

"House, I really don't feel well", she sighed, before losing the fight against unconsciousness as she felt back- luckily House caught her before she made contact with the hard concrete floor.

As if just on cue House's team, Chase, Taub, Thirteen, Cameron, and Foreman were at the entrance and heard House's frantic shouts and ran over and were shocked to see Cuddy there, never mind the fact that she was unconscious.

"Are you all just going to stand there and gawp at her? 43 year old pregnant Cuddy, she's been suffering with Depression, extreme morning sickness", he explained, bringing them back to reality and informing about her condition.

By this point Cuddy was coming round, but she was throwing up blood much to her own confusion and to House's concern.

"Right, we need to get her up there", he yelled, as he helped Cuddy up, and Chase lifted her up into his arms and began to carry her across to the Hospital followed by the rest of the team. Cameron and Taub ran off ahead as they needed to make sure there was a bed free for Cuddy.

Thirteen and Foreman just looked at House in sympathy as Chase hurried off in front with Cuddy.

"Come on House, she'll be okay", Foreman reassured, not exactly knowing what was going to happen, but he decided that giving House some kind of hope was better than saying nothing at all.

Chase arrived into the hospital and deciding against wasting time finding a stretcher, he ran straight into the elevator which luckily was open and just heading up to the diagnostic department. House, Thirteen and Forman rushed over quickly, sliding through the small gap in the doors and joining Cuddy and Chase.

Foreman's cell began to bleep to inform him that Cameron and Taub had gotten a bed ready, and finally the elevator stopped at their floor and the four frantic doctors and ex-Dean of Medicine stepped off the elevator and headed to the room number which Cameron had texted to Foreman.

Chase lowered her down on the bed and Thirteen and Cameron began to wire her up to the many machines and IV drips.

"House, you stay here with Thirteen and Cameron. Me, Taub and Chase are going to figure out what's wrong and tend to some other patients, we'll run some routine tests", he explained.

House nodded.

"Lisa can you tell me how far along you are?" Cameron asked.

"I don't know, I'm not sure what's happening", Cuddy replied dizzily. Right at that moment she began to have a seizure, and House and Thirteen desperately tried to help Cameron stabilize her. She began to throw up even more and House held the basin whilst she did. The seizure and sickness had finally passed, and Cameron and Thirteen had left House to keep an eye on Cuddy as they went to find out what the tests said, and see if they could figure out what the hell was going on.

House looked down at Cuddy, she was stabilized now at was speaking properly and she could remember a lot more now.

"House, I'm really scared", she whispered, not being able to say the words aloud as currently her throat hurt like hell.

"I know, but trust me, I will not let anything happen to you, babe I love you, and I will fight for you- you are going to be fine", he explained, holding her hand once again…


End file.
